“We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.” – US writer and statesman Benjamin Franklin

“In view of the fact that God limited the intelligence of man, it seems unfair that He did not also limit his stupidity.” – German statesman Konrad Adenauer

“All you need in this life is stupidity and confidence, and then success is sure.” It was the writer Mark Twain who made the observation over a century ago but he never meant for it to be taken seriously. 

But there is a rocket scientist in Damansara Flora in the greater KL area who did, apparently.  Said RS had read somewhere that going viral on TikTok could get you money for nothing and chicks for free. 

To be sure, there is going viral, and then there is, well, going nuts. Like hydrogen, there is a great deal of stupidity out there and RS had drunk deep, and copiously, at said well.

He had no criminal record to speak off. To rectify that matter, he set fire to an auxiliary police cruiser and all but drew a map for the police by filming the act on his phone and sending it out to that great Cloud in the sky. It did go viral and that, as they say, was the rub. 

No chicks for free, that’s for sure. Perhaps a little grim and stern fish, some gritty rice and an opportunity to meet a former Premier. 

That’s why you can never underestimate human intelligence too much. 

Nor can you underestimate human greed for that matter. Jibby and his stout sidekick, Fatboy, proved that above and beyond their call of duty. That’s well known of course, but no, I’m just talking today’s newspaper here. First my eye fell on the story of the ambitious RS with delusions of adequacy, and then there were the  three who allegedly looted a charity for Palestinians.

It took two hours for the interpreter to read the 164 charges prosecutors slapped against the trio for money laundering, criminal breach of trust and cheating, involving over RM45 million in funds meant for Palestinians dispossessed by the war. 

The trio’s hearts bled so much for those poor folk that they allegedly bought houses, shop-lots and land. As a further mark of respect, they bought 131 kilograms of gold bullion.

Fatboy would have understood: you can’t have too much. He knew because he’d tried. 

There was only one problem. They might have been a couple of chapattis short of a curry lunch because all the purchases were made by a single company which had but three directors.  This was usually the moment Poirot would have muttered: “Sacre bleu!”

No prizes for guessing the three rocket scientists on said board.

My friend Cletus came up with a beauty yesterday. He’d been reading about the preacher man Ebit Liew, whose case of  sexual harassment is currently pending before the courts. 

Cletus thought the name should correctly read as A Bit Lewd. 

You’d never have guessed though. He was normally clad in proper clerical garb right down to the white skull cap and pious goatee. 

But to read the testimony of the disconsolate female witness on the stand in today’s paper, it appeared that the old chestnut may have been true. No, it wasn’t a gun in his pocket and yes, he had been happy to see her. 

Allegedly, of course.

ENDS