There’s a clock and bull story being waged in Bangladesh as we speak. 

Its most famous bull has five days to live. On May 27, it’s slated to be slaughtered  for an annual Muslim festival. 

That’s not much time and a lot of steak: Donny, the bull in question, weighs 700 kg. 

It’s famous not so much for its heft as for being albino. It’s greyish-white with a flowing helmet of blond hair not unlike a certain US President we all know and dislike.  

Donny’s a media star. Crowds in Bangladesh are flocking to snap photographs of the beefy behemoth, nicknamed Donald Trump because of its blond locks. 

Owner Zia Mridha, 38, said his brother so named the bull because its blond hairpiece appeared to  resemble the President’s.

“The name was because of the buffalo’s extraordinary hair,” he told AFP at his farm in Narayanganj, near Dhaka.

Mridha said a constant stream of curious visitors — social media fans, onlookers and children — have come throughout May, to glimpse the bovine leader. 

Donny has endured these meat-and-greet sessions although it winces at the sound of ‘meet’.  

You couldn’t blame the creature. It was a sensitive vegetarian who believed in non-violence and had as much resemblance, emotionally speaking, to Donald Trump as Elvis had to “Weird Al” Yankovic.

Both had the same instincts: they came, they saw, they charged. But that was Donny’s first instinct: it would always recover and allow its civilised nature to assert itself. 

Not so much with El Presidente though. As bulls went, he carried his own China shop with him. He thought it was the least he could do.  

He wasn’t called the Wrecker-in-Chief for nothing. 

The bull’s regimen hasn’t changed. Every morning, men poured cool water over its head, running a pink brush through its blond tresses, neatly tucked between sweeping horns.

“The only luxury he enjoys is bathing four times a day,” Mridha said. The famer appeared to be anxious that US-Bangladesh ties not be strained because he repeatedly stressed that the similarities between the bull and the President stopped at the hair. 

Although most people think the story’s a lot of bull, some Bangladeshis think otherwise. 

Businessman Faisal Ahmed, 30, was among those who managed to get close, snapping photographs of the great beast. 

“Truly, the features are similar between the buffalo and President Donald Trump,” said the eagle-eyed businessman. 

On a separate note, albino buffaloes are extremely rare, and appear white or pink. They occur for the same reason they do in human beings – a lack of the pigment, melanin.

Donny isn’t alone. His companions include an aggressive bull named “Tufan,” meaning “storm”; an enormous buffalo called “Fat Boy” and the gentle-natured “Sweet Boy.”

Another albino bull, also golden-haired, is named after Brazilian footballer Neymar for its  bleached-blond cut.

Muslim-majority Bangladesh, a nation of 170 million people, is preparing for Eid al-Adha, the Islamic “feast of the sacrifice,” later this month.

More than 12 million livestock will be slaughtered during the holiday, when many poor families get a chance to eat meat.

Even so, the attention lavished on Donny has begun to grate on Mridha. He claims the crowds have caused Donny to lose weight. There are restrictions on public viewing now.

Of course, the real reason the bull was losing weight was that he’d guessed the truth.

The farmer told him no, he wasn’t to be slaughtered.

He was to be sacrificed. It was just the way of the world, the bull thought fatalistically.  

Expecting a bull not to charge at you because you are a vegetarian animal-lover is as absurd as expecting to forego Donny’s beefy potential because of animal rights. 

ENDS