He who can, does: and he who can change road names, will.

It appears to be the overriding credo of City Halls throughout the land. And why do they choose such difficult ones?

It’s like parents thinking up names for their first born, the easy-to-remember, non-embarrassing ones where their peers are concerned.  “I know, let’s call him Engelbart Humperdinck.”

In the first flush of nationalism after independence, it might have been due to a desire to be rid of colonial baggage. Move on to their replacements: equally obscure and long-dead royalty, politicians, businessmen, and the occasional murderer (Maharaja Lela, anyone?).

Seremban used to have two main roads: Birch Road and Paul Street. I have no idea what their current names are, but I vaguely recall that they were long, verbose and thoroughly forgettable. 

When I first came to Kuala Lumpur, the local guys at university would direct me around town by way of thoroughfares like Foch Avenue or Mountbatten Road. Alas, poor Foch and wretched Mountbatten: they’ve been consigned to the junkyard of the Victors Who Rewrite History.

Sometimes the reasons for changes are obscure, often inane. In 2014, City Hall changed the names of eight roads in Kuala Lumpur including previously simple ones like Duta and Ipoh. Their replacements were the wordy names of aristocrats complete with honorifics. 

Result: the only one who remembers the new street-names is Waze. One also doubts if City Hall’s intention – to inculcate reverence for royalty presumably – was fulfilled. 

I used to chuckle at the absurdity of Singapore street names like Orange Grove (in equatorial Singapore?) or Kay Poh Road (Hokkien for busybody), but I now respect that the city almost never changes its names. 

There is something to be said about continuity and tradition: places where both Grandpa and Grandson know. 

There has been no rush to name anything after Lee Kuan Yew after his death in 2015. He made the reputation of the city’s airport, but it remains Changi. Even New York changed the name of its airport to JFK after the President’s assassination in1963. 

There are, however, think-tanks named after two of the republic’s founding fathers: the LKY School of Governance and the S Rajaratnam School of Diplomacy. The latter was Singapore’s first Foreign Minister. 

Intriguingly, there is nothing significant named after Goh Keng Swee, arguably the architect of the city’s economic and defence policies.

He was given a state funeral when he died in 2010 but there is nothing named for him. Unless you count an eponymous cup in the Schools’ Rugby “C” Division! Keng Swee was an enthusiast of the game and pushed for it to be included in the schools and the National Service (the state’s compulsory, two-year conscription for able-bodied males).  

You must be wondering why I’m going on like this?

I’ve just read that Kuantan’s City Hall is proposing to rename several roads bearing the name of Wong Ah Jang, a prominent local businessman.

It was the British, after all, who named the roads after the philanthropist, and it has remained unchanged for seventy years.

Why change at all? 

ENDS