_{The English language throws up occasional oddities that can be vastly entertaining.}

_{There is, for example, the malaprop which takes its name from a character (Mrs. Malaprop) in an 18th Century play by Richard Sheridan. The lady frequently misspeaks (to great comic effect) by using words that do not have the meaning she intends, but which sound similar to words that do.}  

_{It’s since been taken up to an art-form by Archie Bunker’s character in the 1970s sitcom All In The Family.} 

_{It wasn’t always Archie though. There was this witness who swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth as “Bob is my witless.”} 

_{Even so, you might say Archie didn’t often make sense: “If my dead father was alive to hear that, it would kill him.”} 

_{He certainly didn’t like feminists: “Most of ‘em  have more hismones than hermones.”}  

_{Or theology: “You’d think I was Lazarus rising from the bed. And he was firmly against Eyetalian food because “it causes garlic stones.”}

_{Then there are misspokements, an American word to describe an amusing, unintended verbal gaffe – as in “I remember your name perfectly but I just can’t think of your  face.” This was from US academic Herbert Spooner, thereby creating the first Spoonerism. He also said “a well-boiled icicle” when he meant “a well-oiled bicycle.” Many have followed in its wake since: “Talk of the black calling the kettle pot.”} 

_{US Presidents were often guilty of slipping up. “Status quo, you know, that is Latin for the mess we’re in” (Ronald Reagan). Or, “I’m surprised, frankly, at the amount of distrust in this town, and I’m sorry it’s the case, and I’ll work hard to try to elevate it.”  (George W Bush who had a special category – Bushisms – created just for him.)}

_{Perhaps there would not have been an Iraq problem had the President only listened to where his Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld thought the weapons of mass destruction were. “We know where they are: they are in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad, and east, west, south, and north somewhat.”}  

_{Mr. Rumsfeld took pride in being as clear as the Mississippi in flood.} 

_{The film producer Sam Goldwyn was a legendary artist at  misspoken sentences. “Coffee isn’t my cup of tea,” ranks right up there with the best of them.  Or his view on the frugality:  “Spare no expense to make everything as economical as possible.”} 

_{The undisputed giant among all these names was Yogi Berra, a baseball player and manager whose malaprops, non-sequiturs and nonsense sentences, said in all seriousness, made him a press favorite.} 

_{“I guess that’s the earliest I’ve ever been late” – on punctuality}

_{“The towels were so thick there, I could hardly close my suitcase” – on his hotel room.}

_{“Yeah, what paper you write for, Ernie?” – after being introduced to Ernest Hemingway}   

_{“How long have you known me, Jack?…And you still don’t know how to spell my name?” – on receiving a cheque made out to Bearer.}

_{“And they give you cash which is just as good as money” – after doing a commercial.} 

_{“Shut up and talk” – ?} 

_ENDS