Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were running for President, but I repeat myself. – With apologies to Mark Twain

I’m not sure if you guys watch The Graham Norton show because it’s great and you should.

We recently watched it just in time to catch Charlie Sheen launching into a Donald Trump story. 

Sheen was at a restaurant meeting his in-laws for dinner when the Donald came over to apologise for not making the wedding, which was curious to Sheen as he’d not been invited. 

In any case, the soon-to- be-President grandly whipped off his cuff-links and presented them to Sheen as a belated wedding gift, noting airily they were genuine Harry Winstons and studded with diamonds. They were also stamped DJTRUMP for good measure. 

The gesture floored the whole table, probably its intended consequence.

Fast forward a year and a valuer had just finished with some Sheen heirlooms. She was leaving when Sheen remembered the cufflinks. 

It took the appraiser all of four seconds to recoil, shuddering. “Cheap pewter and even cheaper zirconia,” she declared. 

Why would a self-professed billionaire do something like that? 

Why indeed? 

The man was always weird but, in his dotage, he appears to have become “mystifying” much like TS Elliot’s Macavity the Mystery Cat. 

Don’t repeat that. 

Too late! 

Just then, Al Stewart’s Year of the Cat came on the radio and the Donald just intuited it. Call it his stable genius or what you will, the man had it in spades. 

He’d gotten it and knew he was right. Macavity was yet another morsel on the menu of the malefic migrants who’d taken over Springfield, Ohio. Yep, those horrible Haitians were now eating the hamlet out of its pets, ducks, and geese. 

“Jeez,” exclaimed Kamala Harris in disgust and wondered, yet again, how a man so profoundly stupid, so morally bankrupt, could be considered Presidential material?

This was the fellow who incited an insurrection to overturn the 2020 election, who seemingly acquiesced with the mob’s resolve to “hang” Mike Pence, his deputy of four years; and who watched the whole, ghastly drama on TV for three hours without doing anything.  

He’s also the fellow who now promises he’ll pardon the “hostages” (the jailed members of the mob) when he’s President. 

Yet, it isn’t held against him. He is, instead, once again the Republican candidate for President. It makes you wonder about the minds among the great, unwashed masses of the Land of the Fee and the Home of the Knave.  

As for the rest of us, let’s put it this way: there is a charging rhinoceros bent on retribution out there and the only one in its way holding the tranquiliser gun is Kamala Harris. 

So far so good. I watched part of the debate and thought he was dismal, scowling and rising to her bait. In contrast, she was smiling, appearing to enjoy herself. 

Even Fox News conceded he lost. Moreover, the polls are beginning to indicate that she is pulling away. 

The problem with Trump is that he must have stopped at least once to think and just forgot to restart. 

He’s gotten by with inanity and confident procrastinations ever since. While President, he promised to replace Obamacare with a better plan “in two weeks.” 

That’s the line now, eight years later, except it’s changed to “concepts” of a plan.

He thinks that’s rope-a-dope. 

It’s him, just your average, ordinary, village dope.   

ENDS