Erica Jong is an American novelist whose 1974 bestseller Fear of Flying vividly captured the challenges faced by a Jewish poet living alone in New York City during the 1970s. 

Mirelle E is less well known. Even so, her book detailing the  challenges faced by an aspiring French chef struggling with a morbid fear of hot oil won plaudits. Fear of Frying went on to become a literary  smash.

Literary, yes. Culinary, not so much: an  irrational fear of hot oil can thwart the best intentions for boeuf bourguignon.

Most people have some minor phobias. The most common is social phobia or a fear of social interaction. 

Other common fears are those associated with snakes, heights, spiders and public speaking. 

I found out I had a phobia of using bridges over busy highways. I have no problem with bridges over water but for some inexplicable reason, the thought of having traffic moving under my feet gives me the heebie-jeebies. 

Solution: I avoid them like the plague and cross the street at the traffic lights instead. 

In China, this can be a challenge as an intersection can have as much as 10 lanes. Walking mighty fast is the prescribed way to go.

But some fears are really way out there, as weird as Al Yankovich.

There is Anatidaephobia which is an irrational fear of being watched by a duck.

Say you are an inordinate fancier of duck, preferably roasted in Peking. And then say you were walking in Central Park and become aware you are the subject of an intense, malevolent scrutiny: it usually comes from the duck pond. 

This is when strong men afflicted with Anatidaephobia head for the hills. 

There is a particular phobia that’s only associated with the leaders of Singapore. It’s called chidephobia and is characterised by an irrational,  obsessive, and deeply suspicious fear of chewing gum. The mere sight of someone chewing gum or it Just-Being-There can trigger consequences like a blanket ban.

Then there’s Cenosillicaphobia which is a fear of an empty beer glass. This is an honest-to-goodness anxiety, a vox-populi fear if you like, especially if said  “people” are patrons of a nearby pub.

An absolutely ridiculous fear is aibohphobia which is a fear of palindromes. A palindrome is, of course, a word or phrase that reads the same forwards or backwards. Examples would be “racecar”; “Dammit, I’m mad” or, “Able was I ere I saw Elba.”

Ironically, “aibohphobia” is also a palindrome. This revelation is generally sufficient to send said sufferer screaming into the night. 

Arachibutyrophobia has those afflicted fearful of having peanut butter stuck to the roof of their mouths. They should be given a public flogging and banned from eating the stuff. 

I’m convinced my wife has some sort of nomophobia which is a fear of being without a mobile phone. People with pogonophobia should never, ever travel to Afghanistan. The condition describes a fear of beards.  

Meanwhile, the Trumpinator has a fear of bad hair days followed by funerals.

It came to light after the recent passing of former US Vice-President Dick Cheney. The President wasn’t invited to the former Republican’s  funeral. Since he feared funerals anyway, it was no skin of the presidential nose but he couldn’t help himself. 

“Dick Cheney who was a loser and a terrible person will be lucky to get a thousand people at his funeral,” the Donald posted on Truth Social. “My funeral will draw MILLIONS.” 

Insisting that his demise would attract a record turnout, the President concluded: “Every day, people say to me, “Sir, I can’t wait for that day to come.” 

ENDS