Crime does not pay as well as politics – Anonymous, but probably Malaysian 

His elders thought he might have a career in politics given his gift of the gab. Only later would the gift of the grab emerge. 

Fast forward 70 years. 

With nothing but time on his hands, former Malaysian Prime Minister Najib Razak thinks he’s hit on a new and wholly original get-out-of-jail card, something that might finally spring him – an apology. 

Make that an “unreserved” apology which is better, but still falls short of “grovelling,” which might have been more appropriate in the circumstances. 

Actually, Jibby’s circumstances are getting better. Originally  sentenced to 12 years for corruption in the multibillion-dollar One Malaysia Development Berhad (1MDB) scandal, his term was halved by Malaysia’s King in February.

The disgraced former leader is now set to be released on August 23, 2028. Moreover,  the fine imposed on him was reduced to RM50 million from RM210 million.

Even so, Jibby remains on trial in multiple cases related to 1MDB, a state fund he established as prime minister to spur economic development. The total allegedly plundered from 1MDB could top RM50 billion. Najib has only apologised  for the fact that it happened. In addition, the man conceded that yes, the scandal did, indeed, occur during his tenure.

 Why now? 

Well, it revolves around “much reflection” amid his “26 months in jail.” That, for anyone who  missed it, is A Strong Hint that Justice Might Already Have Been Served. 

Anyway, he has had an epiphany of sorts. “It pains me to know the 1MDB debacle happened under my watch.”

I don’t want to put too fine a point on it, but if he just realises that now, he’s seriously a couple of chapattis short of a curry. 

The chapatti-deficient ex-premier expressed his “deep shock” over the extent of the plunder. 

On hindsight, Ah Jib Gor  acknowledged he should have acted differently when suspicions about 1MDB first arose.

You think? 

“I did initiate various investigations but I was inclined to believe the explanations by the board and management.” 

During trial, some members of the board begged to differ. 

At one point, His Jibsworth had over RM2 billion in his personal account. “As hard as it is for some people to fathom, I was advised and honestly believed at the time that the funds I received were political donations from Saudi Arabia.”

It isn’t clear if the Tooth Fairy was involved at this juncture. 

In any case,  the man is “deeply regretful” over the turn of events at 1MDB, and thinks that being legally held accountable for actions he “neither initiated nor knowingly enabled” is “unfair.” 

Meanwhile, Jibbington Esq is still facing four charges of abusing his position to obtain RM2.3bil from 1MDB and an additional 21 money laundering charges involving the same amount.  He will know his fate on October 30.

Mario Puzo, the author of The Godfather could not have had us in mind because the book came out in 1921. But it is curious: “A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a thousand men with guns. “

ENDS