He was so cheap, for example, that when his wife asked for diamonds for her birthday, he brought her two of them – the eight and the Queen. – Comedian George Burns, presumably referring to Warren Buffett.  

A friend of mine sent me an article on Warren Buffett yesterday.

Now there’s a guy buffeted by the slings and arrows of “outrageous fortune”: a pot of gold so monstrous it was estimated, in June, at an  eye-popping US$135 billion. 

Let’s put that in context, with said article in mind. You’re going out for dinner and there’s always someone in the group whose hand immediately goes into his pocket the minute the bill arrives, right? Warren’s that sort of guy, only his hand remains in said pocket until the scores have been settled so to speak. For him, the price of financial liberty was eternal vigilance. 

According to the article, Buffett decides to take his pal Bill Gates for lunch and instead of Spago’s, the big spender chooses McDonald’s instead. When the bill arrives, old BS digs into his pocket and comes up with enough, plus coupons, to make up the difference. 

Consider, also, that this is the world’s tenth richest man buying his pal, the globe’s third richest fellow, a burger. 

What does the guy at the counter do? 

A. He goes  amok, leaping over the counter with his pals, Smith and Wesson?

B. He’s overcome by acute embarrassment and offers to pick up the tab?

C. The Omaha Owl’s legend of penny-pinching parsimony grows to Olympian proportions. 

Actually, old BS had a different plan in mind originally: he thought he’d drive and planned to back into the drive-in so that the cashier would be on Bill‘s side but the idea had been foiled because Bill insisted on walking.

No wonder he was third richest, thought the Omaha Oracle resentfully. He hadn’t seen that coming.

It’s not easy staying rich. You have to plan on all eventualities including lunch: a lightning quick decision between, say, Spago’s or McDonald’s, could translate into immediate savings of over $100.  

The really rich think differently. When asked if he’d ever read the Bible, Jean Paul Getty, a man who made his money from oil, replied he’d heard it said that the meek shall inherit the earth and then added, “but not its mineral rights.” 

Asked about his formula for success, he replied: “Rise early, work hard, strike oil.” 

He was also the fellow who famously said “if you can count” your money, “you’re not rich.” 

The actress and playwright Mae West bridled when someone suggested she was a gold-digger: “No gold digging for me. I’ll take diamonds, thank you.” The writer Jackie Collins was more down to earth: “Money isn’t the most important thing in the world, love is. Fortunately, I love money.”  

I’ve met many very, rich people during my reporting career but I suppose the best answer I ever got was from Lim Goh Tong, the late founder of the Genting gaming conglomerate.

It was early in my career and I’d read that you had to ask entrepreneurs what their philosophy was – Don’t blame me, point your fingers at Fortune!  

So, I popped the question, and he looked nonplussed. His answer, however, was and is a classic and it illustrates why a translation from the original language never quite does it justice. 

After giving the matter some thought, he replied simply: “Gua tengok lubang, gua masuk-lah. 

My translation: “When I see an opportunity, I seize it.” 

Close, I suspect, but no cigar.

ENDS