The world has been having an earful of Donald Trump lately.

Ever since an  assassination attempt against the man failed last week, the Democrats are beginning to resign themselves to Trump 2.0 next year. It’s tied to a growing realisation that the man has the luck of the Devil. 

Apparently, the Donald turned his head ever so slightly at the exact time the shooter – the late, if unlamented, Thomas Crooks – pressed the trigger. It caused the bullet to pierce an ear instead of the head ergo the body had the luck of the devil. 

Trump himself had no such illusions although he often brooded on the luck of some people.  They were deep questions that often kept him awake at night like, how else can you explain the success of a loser like Obama?

Skill was another thing altogether. Take golf, for instance. It was clearly a question of his ability against his opponent’s luck.

President Biden’s luck, unfortunately, may be running out faster than a New York minute. At 81, he has the dubious distinction of being the oldest US President ever and there are concerns about his physical and mental ability. 

On the plus side, he’s learning new things continually. Example: he recently found out what people meant when they mentioned Sinai: he’d always assumed it was the plural of sinus.

Even so, the concerns over his health have snowballed to the extent that Democratic party stalwarts have been pressuring Mr Biden to throw in the towel.  At the time of writing, there are, in fact,  rumours that he will step aside over the weekend. 

Whether this will improve the Democrats’ chances is a moot point at this stage. It increasingly looks like the next President of the US will be a greenhouse-gassing, oil- drilling, Bible-thumping, right-to-life’ing Republican whose model of a good leader is Vladimir Putin and whose idea of Public Enemy Number One is China. 

When growing up, according to writer Richard Kay, “Donald Trump wanted a bicycle more than anything else so he prayed for one every night and nothing happened. Finally, he figured out the Plain Truth, which was stealing one and praying for forgiveness afterwards.”

That was the prelude. But the Donald of today may have been best described by Josh Billings, a long-dead humorist who characterised an acquaintance as “so prone to exaggerations that he could not tell the truth without lying.” Or, as American satirist Pat Paulsen remarked: “I must choose my words carefully in order to avoid any negative interpretation: among politicians, this is a tactic known as lying.” 

During his debate with President Biden, the Donald’s statements were peppered with falsehoods, some of which had been repeated so often that he considered them Gospel. Even so, the confidence and authority with which he delivered the lies won the audience. Who’d have thought: Goebbels was the man. 

Donald Trump could not comprehend the animus against him because he really thought he was the better man. And he knew he was right because his   critics were just a bunch of America-bashing, pot-smoking, flag-burning, yoga-posing, incense-burning, tree-hugging, dolphin-saving, salmon-eating hypocrites. 

He was going to show them: he would be the best President the US ever had, even better than Jesus. 

ENDS