He made us all one true religion, Edith, which he named after his son, Christian – or Christ, for short.  – Archie Bunker, in the TV sitcom All In The Family  

The other day we met up with Y, one of my wife’s friends, who’d flown over from Kay-El with one aim: to see Coldplay perform live.

He’d booked a hotel room and, since he was in Singapore with his wife, he might as well stay a few days. The concert tickets were S$200 (RM694) each so what the hell?  

“We haven’t been here for ages anyway,” he told us cheerfully.

The British band had agreed to play six January concerts in the city-state: all in the same venue, a rare concession that underscored the island’s marketing skill.  It made good business sense. All the dates were booked solid, and it drew fans from as far away as New Zealand. 

That’s the way to do it. 

It was the Arabs who came up with the saying: “the dogs may bark but the caravan moves on.” This commonsensical notion was largely true for Malaysia in its first 50 years or so but not so much now. Every time any barking starts, the country staggers, stops or even reverses course altogether.    

The Islamic Party of Malaysia, or Pas, is largely responsible for this. It, quite seriously, sees itself as the moral watchdog of the country and its outraged yelps against concerts – or anything remotely entertaining for that matter– is costing the country dear: the number of Malaysians like Y who went south to hear Coldplay is anyone’s guess.

Where concerts are concerned, Pas has developed a Pavlovian response: object, object and then, still object. 

Why? 

Why not?  would be the correct response in The World According to Pas. 

Take the upcoming Ed Sheeran concert in Kuala Lumpur. The baby-faced English singer-songwriter is scheduled to perform here on February 24.

It’s too near Ramadan, Pas winged. Not really: the start of the fasting month is almost 2 weeks from the date. 

Eureka, cried the Clerics’ Council of Pas – its highest policy making body – in the triumphant, and Ancient Greek, tones of a Holmes getting his man. 

Apparently, the shady Sheeran was a sinister subversive who surreptitiously supported scoundrelly syndicates like the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community. 

Who would’ve thought? 

Harumph, said Khairy Jamaluddin in the dismissive manner of a Grandmaster about to checkmate a lesser mortal. 

A former Health Minister, Mr Khairy revealed that Pas had never “aggressively” pushed for concert bans when it was in government between March 2020 and November 2023. He went on to say that when push came to shove, the matter was raised only once and that, “timidly” too, as a question during a Cabinet meeting. 

In short, zilch, zip and nada. 

Now, who would’ve thought? 

The party’s spiritual adviser confirmed Mr Khairy’s opinion in a backhanded sort of way. He said as it was in government then, the party had more “pressing” matters and issues that “needed our immediate attention.”   

He did not reveal what was so “pressing” that it needed the party’s “immediate” attention. Indeed, any Malaysian worth his salt would be hard pressed to remember a single policy, issue, or idea, that Pas articulated, floated, or espoused during its two-odd years in power. 

It was zip, zilch and nada all over again. 

ENDS